Adoption is not for the faint at heart!

Warning! This is not a positive or rosy post. I was hoping to post yesterday that we finally made it to the last step- that we were only waiting on one more document that tells us to book our tickets and come to China. But, we are still waiting for the document before that, the one that was supposed to take 2 weeks and so far it has been a month and we are STILL waiting!

I knew nothing going into this process, and I mean nothing about the actual informational part of the process and certainly nothing about the emotional toll this would all take. I should have known. I've been on the emotional rollercoaster before trying to have children and obviously since then just raising them. I have learned so much in the last year and thankfully have become a member of the most wonderful and supportive group of RQ friends who are all somewhere in their adoption process. What I've learned more than anything else is that the majority of all of this is completely out of my control and that is very hard for me. I admit, I like things orderly, run the way I want, and I tend to have high expectations. The past year has been far from as far as the adoption. It's about hurry up and wait. You run around like crazy gathering documents, making appointments, going to and from fed ex, then sitting around and waiting for the next batch. You are at the whim of every government branch and agency, from local, to state, to federal, and international and unfortunately it just isn't a perfected process. I stare at my pictures of our little girl every day and ache for her. I vascillate from butterflies in my stomach and pure excitement about getting her, to saddness that she is not here, to anger that this is taking so darn long, and desperation that somehow it really won't happen. Of course all of this along with continuing as a sane person in my everyday life and making sure I'm taking care of the family I already have at home. And yes, I know the end result makes it all worth the wait but I'm not at the end yet. So right now I'm just kind of mad, about this 1 document, and hope the next post is one full of cheer, or at least cute pictures of my kids!!!


  1. You know, that is exactly how we felt during our recent adoption. I felt like it would never happen, it was taking too long, something will happen to prevent the adoption, etc..It was SO HARD. Right before we left, I said that I NEVER wanted to do another adoption. It was too hard. But now that we're home with our little guy, I realize that it is totally worth it and I would love to do it all over again. I didn't forget the pain, but it was worth it.

  2. I haven't read your RQ posts yet, but yes it IS a month for that step. Two weeks to get the letter, two weeks for them to process it. My agency confirmed that this is what they have been seeing. Small consolation, I know. Hopefully it is done and on it's way and you just haven't been told.

    Hang in there!!! I'm "hanging" right along with you!!

  3. Just want to say I totally understand. We are an I600 family, already LID, already through Review, thinking 2-4 weeks from LOI to LOA, and here we are on day 46. I'm packed, ordered my money for the trip, my school district advertised my job and selected some to replace me, and I'm still here...I thought I'd have TA by now. Your daughter waiting in China is simply gorgeous. I just wanted to say I totally sympathize with what you are going through. For me this is the hardest part of this whole process. Let's hope we both get our LOAs in the next two days and that our TAs come quickly!

  4. Oops - I see it's your TA you are waiting for, I mentioned LOA in my previous comment!