It's been a while, a long while. Shocking how life gets busy, or not really. On the shocking front.... Every year is the fastest of my life, and that is painful for me. I want things to slow down, focus on each milestone. If parents think it ends at walking and talking, they are wrong. There are adventures at every turn, and they go from physical to emotional, to something I can't even identify. So I become the intern and hope for the best in raising in children that belong to me.
It does come upon us quite often that we have 3 swimmers, and 1 non swimmer. And we celebrate our non swimmer who is so accomplished in many other things....running, art, creativity. Beyond anything the other kids can do. But I wonder.... does it feel different??? I know the answer to this. Of course it feels different, because it is. And although it has its own stigma and recognition, its still not the same as the others. And that is a big deal, especially for this kid.
This kid just won the yearbook cover contest..... this kid can do any aerobatics on the trampoline...this kid has a million friends ready to play at any time. BUT, this kid is not a swimmer, this kid is not in the gifted program at school, this kid is not an above average math kid. That's a lot to swallow among 3 others that all are.
And this kid has the biggest heart, and seeks the most approval. And darn, as a mom I am often exhausted and don't recognize this, darn. This kid is beyond special, and she is my daughter. And I need to be reminded that it is not about the things, but the time. She was thrilled when I painted her nails today, but just her. She needs, but more importantly deserves that one on one time. Each of my kids would be thrilled with individual time. I'm not trying to make this about Anna, but often my heart goes in that direction, because my actions do not.
It was a swim meet day, so to give credit to my others, they had an amazing ride. Super awesome improvements in swims today and I was so proud. That's an entirely different topic of the pressures of swimming and success. I'll save that for another day. I guess the message from a parenting perspective is that it's hard, but so rewarding. I feel jubilee daily, frustration daily, confusion daily, happiness daily...... the most amazing thing I've ever done, and will continue to do.... with my heart all in.
I'm a mom, and this is the happiness I've ever been. TRULY BLESSED!