On being thankful for motherhood......

What a weekend.  A swim weekend for us.  Brian and I divided the weekend into shifts, the best way to attack these weekends.  Yesterday I was with the boys, and relied on his reports on Callie for the morning session.  And with every text I rejoiced, and felt the emotional pull of missing her swims.  But the afternoon with the boys was amazing.  Lots of great times for each.  A first good meet for Jack which in of itself was a mothers dream.  Watching him touch the  wall, hearing his coach yell in praise for him, throwing my arms up in the air in my own celebration.... all happening at the same time.  Then lots of hugs and smiles from a kid who has been ridden with anxiety for so long.  And my other  baby just at the beginning of it all, skipping along without a care in the world,  but doing great.  I was on top of the world.
Day 2:  I'm the morning mom with Callie.  Drama, I did not bring the right snacks, there is not enough time between events.  But first swim is awesome and we are all smiles.  And the morning continues on cue, love/hate, success, fatigue, hunger,happiness.  It's a storm, but do you stand at the front door super excited to watch, or run to the basement in fear.    Motherhood, you stand in the front row and watch and yell and scream and cheer for her and tell yourself you will ground her later for not nice words.
Now you rely on texts from your husband about boys.  Not quite the same day as yesterday.  Maybe they need their mom.  Would they be doing better if you were there?  Probably not, I don't know.  But girls are using every minute of your time for themselves. Which means obviously they need you too.  Motherhood....
So the afternoon proceeds.  Boys do OK at meet, girls learn to sew and perform a new song on the piano.  But at the end of the night, a group of tired kiddos goes to bed completely satisfied with their weekend.  So motherhood, it's the most amazing thing I've ever done.  And the hardest thing I've ever done.  And hands down the most emotional thing I've ever done.  And I love it.

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