It's been how many years.....
And what have I been doing.....
Being a mama, cooking, cleaning, loving, laundry, homeschooling....
But the truth is I miss my blog.
I script a post nightly in my head, and hope to get it on the blog,
But life gets in the way.
So recently I got on Facebook, and hoped it might be like the blog world, but it's not. And what my blog was is not what Facebook is. So Facebook actually inspired me to get back on the blog. As a mom first and foremost, and a writer and just an outlet of myself.
So for all of those who left, I'm back. And those new, thank you for coming. And those that inspired me to get back into writing the honest and brutal truth (Jen M, whom is my true inspiration) here is goes...
Judgement
Have you ever been in a public place, and you hear the child crying and wonder what is going on. Then you learn this child is lost... somehow their parent lost them, and you think "how can a parent lose their child?" I've been a mom for 13 years, and I've been the mom thinking "how can this happen, just watch your child." You know what's coming. I took my kids to the Science Museum today. It was raining so the museum was packed. Everyone knows the rules. I was talking to Callie, the little kids were together, I was in the middle. Then they were gone. For the first time in my life, all 13 years of being a mom, I lost my kids, truly lost them. I looked everywhere, tried not to panic. I told Callie to stay put and ran around like crazy, cried, then went to the front desk after realizing I could not find them. And there they were. The 2 of them. They had stayed together like they always do, thank God. And I wanted to yell, scream, act like the moms I always see and question. Because I was mad. But Carter's tears increased my tears and I scooped them up and then lectured them. And I became the mom I have judged in the past.
Holy cow, perspective can bite you. And coming off a week of teaching vacation bible school makes it all more intensified. But I just spent an awe inspiring week teaching, singing and dancing with my church about how God has the power to do so much. And those adorable preschool faces looking at you, taking it all in, and believing in His word. So here I am, a mother that judges, and yet I made the biggest mistake today, and am asking for forgiveness, and not to be judged.
As mothers we watch from afar, compare, rate, gossip, and do so many things that we judge. And I wish I could say that I am not one of those people. But the truth is I am. I crave companionship from other moms, advice, guidance, and I truly seek to improve my parenting daily. But I still judge. So in my moment of my worst fear today, and the evening after, I'm humbled. I hope to judge less, accept more, and recognize that we are all in the same boat. We are all doing our best, and rather than judge, we need to lift each other up. So tomorrow is a new day with new aspirations, new hopes, less judgement and more acceptance.
